Pierre Gasly spoke to the website The Players’ Tribune on what turned out to be a heartfelt letter made through his own statements in which he talks about what it meant everything he had to go through to become an F1 driver; those fateful months of 2019 that he had to overcome and finally how he feels with the actual Pierre, the one who actually got to win the 2020 Italian GP.

The whole letter revolves around Pierre and what Anthoine Hubert means to him exactly around a year and a half after his dear friend’s passing, and how the circumstance drives him to his current personal and professional state of form.

 “A month before the race at Spa, right before F1 took its summer break, we were in Budapest for the Hungarian Grand Prix. On Sunday, a bunch of us went out for dinner and had a great evening in the city. Anthoine and I spent the night talking. It was just a regular night, you know? Like we think we’re going to get thousands of those with our friends. And now I would give anything for a few more hours like that with Anthoine.”

“When I left him that night in Budapest, we just told each other to enjoy the summer and that we’d catch up at Spa after the race on Sunday.”

“Of course, I didn’t know that we’d never have another dinner together. But I also didn’t know that I was going to need him again in just a few days.”

Pierre refers to how his hasty departure from the Red Bull Racing team took place during the summer break of the 2019 F1 season and recalled the reality of how he felt in his half-season with the team where he was teammates with Max Verstappen, where he says that his voice was worthless and that he did not feel supported enough.

“From the moment I made my first mistake in a car, I felt like people there slowly began to turn on me. I’d had a crash in winter testing, and from that moment on the season never really got going. Then I had a tough first two races with Red Bull and the media just ate me up. Anything I said in the press was twisted into an excuse for my form, and nobody really stuck up for me.”

“The car wasn’t perfect, and I was doing my best to try to improve and learn each week, but like ... here’s what I’ll say about it: It was a difficult time for me at Red Bull because I didn’t feel like I was really supported and treated the same way as others there have been. And for me … that’s something that I just can’t accept. I was working my ass off every day, trying to get results for the team, but I was not being given all the tools I needed to succeed. I would try to offer solutions, but my voice wasn’t heard, or it would take weeks to see changes.”

“For whatever reason, I was never going to be a fit in that seat — it was just never going to work.”

“But Helmut Marko called me while I was on holiday in Spain and said, “We’re going to send you back to Toro Rosso in a switch for Alex Albon. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story with us. But with all the noise in the media we just feel it’s best.”

Pierre concluded by talking about that heavenly-like win in Monza in 2020. He said how, just exactly that Sunday, he woke up feeling happy overall with the person that had come to the surface since Red Bull’s demotion and Hubert’s passing. And how, at the end of the ceremony, he couldn’t just leave the top step of the podium.

Anthoine taught me so many things. There isn’t a race day that passes that I don’t think of him. I wish more than anything that he were lining up on the grid this year. But his passing forced me to see life in a different way. On the podium in Italy, I didn’t take anything for granted. I celebrated that moment like it was the only one I’ll ever get — because that’s how we should all live our lives.